Sleep? The “Small Stuff” of the Past!

Dylan,

So, as I type, it is 4am.  And, I promised myself that I would revisit this post at a more reasonable hour to ensure that my words were more than just sleep-deprived antics of a soon-to-be crazier woman.  I have learned the past few weeks that sleep, one of my most favorite hobbies, is, I am afraid, a thing of the past. Now, please do not misunderstand. I am not complaining (well maybe a little) about this lack of sleep because I do know that this will all be worth it, but the lesson for you in all of this is that life is an ongoing learning process of forgetting, learning again, and finally internalizing the tough lessons that come only after the experience. 

You should know that your mother is a people pleaser.  In some aspects of my life, this curse has been a blessing! I was a great student as a child, teenager, and adult, and my people-pleasing ways even served me well when I was a teacher.  What you should know is that pleasing other people does make you very popular among peers, co-workers, and family members; in that way, I feel blessed to have this as a part of my dynamic (insert air quotes) personality. However, I have cried many tears and lost many nights of sleep worrying of what your Meme calls “the small stuff”.  The picture of a teenage Amy Moore rolling her eyes, which I am sure your Aunt Beep Beep and Uncle Da Da will paint in your memory soon enough, fills my head as I can see my mother repeating this phrase numerous times during my life.  Two important things here:  1) Just like my mother (your Meme) has been a source of strength and inspiration in my life, I will be here for you. Whether I am quieting your fears, cheering you on, or reminding you of the important things in life, I am always on your side.  2) Make room for your priorities. Don’t sweat the small stuff in life.  And trust me, you will know the difference. Sacrificing your happiness or your sleep over the small stuff will only make you more tired the next day! J

Since I have been blessed with you in my life, I am now losing sleep for a much more noble sacrifice: YOU.   So for that, Dylan Ashley, I thank you so much. And, I encourage you, at a much earlier age than your mommy, to put yourself first. Trust your instincts, believe that you are your number one priority (bearing in mind those that brought you here), and know that you have support system in your family that will sing the song of your heart when you have forgotten the words. And, I just happen to be a really good singer!

 Already, you have taught me more than I could have ever learned in a classroom, from a schoolbook, or from my job. And, I have a sneaky suspicion, that you are not done “schooling” me.  And as I read this letter to you, at 5:00pm this time, I think it is well written from a place of love that only you have taught me to feel. See you soon, baby boy. 

Love you as big as the sky,

Mommy